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I master nothing, examples

To illustrate our point, let us present Julie, a 27-year-old journalist who works for Regional Entrepreneurs, a business magazine. She lives with Serge, her companion, in a large provincial town. She has the life of a young active woman of her age, as a television soap would depict her. However her life is not what she had dreamed of. She has her problems, for example she feels fat. Besides, she is not completely satisfied with her couple, and is considering leaving Serge. She dreams of another life.

She displays numerous sentimental, professional, family resolutions, depending on the latest woman magazines’ advices. She lists things to change, displays bouts of sheer optimism soon disappointed, to finally go back to square one: nothing happens. She eventually develops an obsession with her weight, which she believes, is the source of all her problems. How could she trust herself when she is neither thin nor attractive? She begins diets without holding for a long time. She speaks ceaselessly about her problems and her vague desires. “I am too fat. I should lose weight, I should exercise”. The obsession turns into suffering.

We already hear the reader to react: “what does she complain about? There are worse problems than these. If she really wanted to lose her weight, she would have lost it long ago. Anyway she should accept herself as she is, and be happy to have a guy and a job. She does not have the right attitude”. However trivial the story, it highlights one point: our first reactions to psychological problems are usually based on moral order. Julie should act differently; she would succeed if she really wanted to.

Let us admit for a moment that Julie’s problems are trivial and present Stéphanie. Stéphanie is a 35-year-old single woman working in a big administration. She suffers from social phobia. Her relationships with others are complicated. She believes people speak negatively about her, that her acts are always judged and laughed at. Work meetings are a nightmare. She dreads them and, when they are over, go through the course of events over and over again in her mind, feeling bad, awkward and ridiculous. She suffers deeply from the anxiety and fears that paralyze her.

Let us also present Rachid, who suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorders. A 45-year-old high-school philosophy teacher, he cannot refrain from carrying out rituals to conjure fate. He constantly verifies that doors are well closed, lights properly switched off, taps turned off. At times, he feels compelled to repeat sentences to avert misfortune. He spends a considerable time and energy to hide his disorders to his colleagues, pupils and family. He feels isolated in his ordeal.

“Of course, the reader will object, Rachid and Stéphanie are indeed really sick. There are therapies or medicine to treat them.” The reader is very indulgent: others would have said it’s all fake and that Julie, Rachid and Stéphanie problems are only in their heads.

As for therapies, we shall return to them later. Let’s simply retain that Julie, Rachid and Stéphanie all have, to some degrees, problems in their heads. That is precisely the problem. What do they master?

Rachid masters clearly nothing. His obsessive-compulsive disorders are carried out through him, he cannot help them. The anxiety when he tries to stop his compulsive behaviours is too strong.

Stéphanie knows her fears are not real. She puts them in perspective, tries to convince herself there is nothing to be afraid of. She practises Indian respiro-therapy with some success, but the noxious thoughts re-emerge endlessly, particularly in tensed work situations.

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