Let us concentrate on Julie and her weight problem. It is a slight and nevertheless recurring case. We focus on what, according to her, is the knot of her sufferings, without trying to explain them. We take Julie at her word. Why can’t she lose weight? Let us examine more exactly what goes through her mind without unproductive moral judgments. Her relatives will take good care of commenting and sentencing her actions.
Julie’s vicious circle
Julie began the Duplan-Kings diet with some success, but gave up after three weeks. She resumed her eating habits and gained back her lost weight. Actually, she “had a row” with Serge. After a second of hesitation, she saw herself open her cupboard automatically, and gobble up three chocolate bars. From this day, the Duplan-Kings diet was over. She had thought this was only an accident, and that she would resume her diet the next day. However, the next day she realized Serge never supported her. A diet was impossible in these conditions, she would have to postpone it till the relation is over. After reading Young and Sexy, she eventually decided it was time to accept herself. Fortunately, there was an article full of advice on the topic, right after the Duplan-Kings diet feature. We already know that in two weeks, Julie will want to leave Serge, but to do so, she will need confidence and lose weight.
Clearly, Julie is stuck in a vicious circle. Between orders, advice, excuses, procrastination and depreciation, “I want” and “I do not want”, “I am” and “I am not”, where is her freedom? Is it greater than the freedom of Rachid who is officially sick and cannot refrain from verifying for the fifth time in half an hour that the gas tap is closed and won’t get out of his house as a result?
The case of Julie is quite telling of the sufferings of the vicious circle we all know. We have objectives that need an even apparently light effort to be achieved, yet this effort proves impossible or unsustainable. Our thoughts are filled with a list of paralyzing arguments: “I did not have time”, “I will begin tomorrow”, “It‘s his fault”, “I have no help”, “they hate me”, “I am stupid”, “I wish I had another life”, “I wish I was more…”, “I wish I was less…”, “I am different”, “world is cruel”, “I am a gone case”…
The vicious circle builds up like a ping-pong game in which, from excuse to excuse, the victim postpones problems by granting them a broad range of sometimes contradictory issues, blending fate, guilt, and ontology. One thing stand still : “I do not succeed”. Confused, Julie confides to her relatives. The reactions are diverse.